Debt, haters, bad grades, unemployment, unfaithful spouse, etc. There are so many reasons why you should just end it all today. You can work so hard and still find yourself drowning in chaos. No one else seems to understand. That’s why you are considering  or decided to kill yourself. Yes, today, tomorrow, next month, or next time you’re stressed out, you’re going to kill yourself.

But there’s a problem.

You’re not totally sure that you want to do this. You’re on the edge – pun intended – and just need that little push. Well, today’s your lucky, and last, day. Here are 3 great reasons to kill yourself today!

Reason 1 – Pain!

In the movies people end it so quickly. A bullet, a pill or even a jellyfish (SPOILER: Seven Pounds). They write their note and pass over to the other side. Job done. Fade to black. Credits roll.

However, in real life it just isn’t that simple…

What happens if you survive? Something amazing, actually. You feel excruciating pain!

People assume that popping pills will put you to sleep and then you die. They picture a peaceful euthanasia death after a nice nap. No. Instead, people gobble a handful of pills, pass out, and wake up to hell. Suddenly their personal problems don’t seem so bad. Your insides are burning, you’re scared as hell, and, even worse, you’re not dead. Just very much alive and very much in pain.

So why not try something effective like a gunshot to the head?

Same problem.

Yes, people have survived gunshots to the head. New York City cop Kevin Brennan survived a shot to the head by a gang member. There’s a small chance, but 5% survive a head shot. Of course, you won’t be the same if you survive. What if you can’t talk, walk, feed yourself, or change yourself? Great! Being a ‘vegetable’ goes well with hellish pain. Physical pain, anyway. When you realise your body is now a prison, you’ll feel mental pain too.

Okay, so why not try something even more effective like jumping off a building?

Good one. However, you might survive that too. Alcides Moreno fell 47 storeys and made a full recovery. Unfortunately his brother wasn’t so lucky. Still, there’s a chance you will survive. After a long recovery – learning to speak, eat, drink, and walk again – you’ll have to make that jump again and cross your fingers harder this time.

Then there’s that other thing about jumping off buildings…You know, you might hit someone. Danny Suhr was one of the 9/11 firefighters who was hit by someone who fell/jumped. His childhood sweetheart Nancy was left behind. Would you like to accidentally kill someone who tried to save you?

Still, pain is just a necessary evil, I suppose. Who cares if you and several others end up hurt? At the end of the day, you (hopefully) won’t be around anymore. Screw everyone else. As long as you find some 100% effective way of never coming back, everything will go according to plan.

Pain…Don’t you just love it?

Reason 2 is…

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