5 Steps to Stop Feeling Sorry for Yourself!

5 Steps to Stop Feeling Sorry for Yourself!

Right now, honestly, seriously, I’m struggling. My tinnitus seems worse than ever, but habituation seems to be helping. Still, it doesn’t stop me feeling down at times. You know how it is when you feel down…

“Why me?”

 “Like I haven’t got enough problems!”

 “My life sucks!”

 “It’ll get worse!”

 “No one understands me.”

sad man at desk
Image courtesy of imagerymajestic / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I still have down moments, but that’s life. But I don’t stay down. I get back up.

It’s time for YOU to get back up too.

Are you ready?

Yes, because you’re here with me.

Release the tension. To move on from what’s troubling us, we need to shed the negativity that manifests through feelings that need to be released. Man or woman, boy or girl, whoever you are… let go. Release the pain. Cry. Scream. Roar. Exercise. Meditate. Sleep. Do whatever it takes to get an instant release. There’s no shame. It’s not a sign of weakness.

Step One- Release the pain.

Do it. Right now.

Seriously. I’ll wait here.

Done? Good.

Step Two- Treat yourself!

Now you’re going to pamper yourself. As long as it isn’t harmful, treat yourself with whatever you like. It could be dinner at a restaurant, a night at the movies, hours playing video games, a day at the salon, date night with that special someone, etc, etc, etc.

 “But it costs too much.”

One day won’t hurt. Or get someone else to pay. Or find a discount code or voucher.

 “But there’s work to do!”

All work and no play makes Jack have a nervous breakdown.

 “I’m not in the mood…”


Feeling sorry for ourselves puts us in a bad mood. To start moving on, we must feel better. Then we’ll have more motivation to get through this. Or you could just stay feeling miserable…

No? Good.

Go have some fun!

See you later, whether that’s today or tomorrow…

Done it? Great!

Welcome back!

You’re well rested, rejuvenated from a well-earned treat (you deserve it just for taking the first steps to change), and feeling much better.

What now?

Step Three-Can you fix it? Then fix it!

My ear ringing can’t be fixed right now. One day there will be more methods to handle it, reduce it, even cure it, but right now, there’s no off switch.I also can’t fix my eye floaters, OCD or Social Anxiety, but that’s life. Sometimes we can “fix” it and sometimes we can’t.

But can you fix yours?

If yes, time to start.  Taking action will change everything. Just by planning, you’ll change the course of your life.

The past is set, but the future is up to you.

So get motivated and start planning for your future. One day you will be free of your problem, whether its weight loss, low confidence, debt, etc, but you’ll never be free if you choose self-pity over action.

But what if you can’t “fix” it?

Step Four-Manage it!

My tinnitus is always with me, yet there are moments when I forget about it. It’s true for almost everything life throws at you. Your body is always willing to adapt. Like if you lose your sight and your hearing improves. Or lose your legs and your arms get stronger.

Your brain is also willing to adapt.

If I feel sad about my ears, the ringing gets worse. I breathe faster. My mind races through all the worst case scenarios. Then my subconscious makes the ringing louder because my conscious focused on it.

A seemingly endless cycle.


There is always a way to manage. Always. Whether it’s depression, anxiety, OCD or any other mental/physical problems we face, there are people out there who keep living.

Join them.

Find those people. Learn their techniques. See what works for them. Do what you agree with. Then leave.

Why leave?

Because you don’t want your life to revolve around your problem. Debbie Downers online and offline do just that.

They fall down, stay down and then try to drag you down too. They’re the ones who keep comparing your problem to people who are “better off”. They’re the ones searching online for a cure when there is none. They’re the ones who only contribute something negative.

Stay away from them. Don’t feed off their worries, fears and problems.

You have enough of your own.

So, while your problem will always be there, you will learn to live with it. When I say “live” I mean it. You’ll live your life as you used to, but with the problem at the very back of your mind, somewhere you’ll see it from time to time but not care. You might completely forget about it.

And then you’ll be free.

Step Five-List everything you’ve ever overcome!

Everything, big or small. It could be recent or ages ago. Maybe you overcame it alone or as a team. Don’t hesitate! Write everything down. It’s all important because it all shapes you and your mental make up.

happy woman in the sun
Image courtesy of Andy Newson / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Now, look over the list and note two things:

One, your current problem might be on the list. This shows that you do have the ability to achieve your goal. Despite feeling sorry for yourself back then, you moved on from that period. If you do something once, there’s no reason why you can’t do it again.

No reason. Just excuses.

Two, you overcame them. Be proud! You either fixed the problems or managed them.

So why can’t you do it again?

No reason. Just excuses.

Now get started.

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