3 ways to deal with friends – BONUS: 5 friends to ditch!

3 ways to deal with friends – BONUS: 5 friends to ditch!

Friends are great when you’re having some fun and during the tough times, but from time to time they grate on your nerves. Trouble brews and arguments ensue. The topics discussed in this area are:

Your friend’s partner
Alone time
Frenemies (enemies posing as friends)

Everything is going great with your best pal, but then she meets a hot new guy. Suddenly she’s so hooked on her boyfriend that she stops returning your calls, wants to spend the week-end with him instead, and all she talks about is him, him, and more of him.

Before you get mad, stop and think. These times of lust never last for long, and soon she’ll be back, complaining about his bad habits and whatever else makes him imperfect. If you feel unappreciated, tell her because she won’t know otherwise. She’s probably so in love she hasn’t realised that she’s neglecting your friendship.

Alone time
When your friends are too busy to chill out, don’t let it get you down. Spend some time alone- it’s the perfect chance to discover yourself! A balance of being sociable and solo is the best option for living a healthy lifestyle. When your posse reunites, you’ll all have different stories to tell because you’ve spent time apart.

No friends is better than frenemies

A MAJOR mistake people make is associating with people who don’t have their best interests at heart. Friends are supposed to be dependable, people you can rely on during the hard times. False friends relish the hard times- they love to see you fail- so why waste your time with them?

Below I have outlined the type of ‘friends’ you should avoid. If one of your friends fits into one or more of these categories, you seriously need to reconsider your friendship

1. Miss Centre of the Universe
This is the ‘friend’ who ALWAYS manages to bring the topic back to her. For example:
YOU: Do you like my new jeans?
HER: They’re okay, but I think they’d look better on me. I really need to clear out my wardrobe.
YOU: Thanks… Andy’s being a jerk again. You think I should move on?
HER: Dunno. Mike bought me a lovely pair of heels the other day. They bring out the colour of my eyes, don’t you think?
YOU: ….

2. Miss Sorry, I’m still busy…
We discussed further up this page that sometimes we need ‘alone time’ for whatever reason. However, time apart shouldn’t always last until your friend needs something from you. Of course there are times when your friends need advice or a shoulder to cry. However, there are certain friends who only call when things go wrong. You might not hear from this friend for months or years, but when they need money/a babysitter/advice/references/work they come running back. This is not a friend- this is a user- so ditch her before she milks you dry.

3. Miss Yeah, you look great… I suppose
This ‘friend’ is CONSTANTLY negative. No matter what you do, in her eyes it’s never good enough. If you get a raise, she’ll criticise the amount. If your boyfriend buys you tulips, she’ll complain that they’re not roses. If you win the lottery, she’ll mention people who’ve won more. How can you be happy with someone like this in your life? You can’t. Yes, you can block out some of her negative vibes but what if she touches on a soft spot? A friend knows your weaknesses, so she knows exactly where to hit you where it hurts. On your bad days, do you really need that?

4. Miss Maybe I’ll do it tomorrow
This is ‘friend’ who has no ambition. She is perfectly happy to sit on her backside doing nothing for the rest of her days, and she’d love for you to join her. When we lack motivation we need support, but someone who’s feeling just as lazy can be detrimental to progress. If you spend all your time picking up somebody else, you start to feel depressed yourself. Remember, misery loves company.

5. Miss I’m better than you
This ‘friend’ always finds some way to show how her life is better than yours. If you get five dollars, she must get ten. If you buy gorgeous new shoes, she’ll get two pairs. If everyday is a competition against your ‘friend’, then it’s time to cross her off your Contacts list. Friends should be batting for the same team, not tearing each other down to stay one step ahead. There is no point sharing your life with someone who must always put you down to build herself up.

Those are 3 considerations for dealing with friends, and 5 friends you can live without. Now you’ve dealt with friendship issues, why not improve other relationships too?

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