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Cutting Fitness: 2012 Is the End…And the Beginning?

Cutting Fitness: 2012 Is the End…And the Beginning?

Easier said than done…but doable all the same.

January arrives to the UK in 45 mins (approx). Wherever you are – 2011 or 2012 or 2045 – your fitness goals are at the top of your list. You want to lose weight, gain weight, lose muscle, gain muscle, etcetera…Just like last year.

Just like last year. And the year before. And the decade before. And, if you’re OLD, decades before…

I admit it. I was in the same place last year….No, I wasn’t. I was close to my goal weight, but I fell WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaAAAAY back since January this year (2011).

You did the same thing, didn’t you?

NOTE: If you met your goals (fitness, love, knitting, etc) this year then congrats! Stop looking so damn smug. I could’ve met my goals too if I hadn’t gone on a 12 month binge spree, lost my job, lost my dog (*sob sob*). RANT, I mean, NOTE OVER.

For the so-called failures, what happens now?

It’s up to us.

They, whoever they are, say 2012 is the end. The world’s end, end of an era before the new world order tries to enslave our people, but they WILL lose because we won’t roll over like poodles and be held back from our true potential, our inner chi, our happiness.

Anyway, the world is ending and we’re all screwed…or we thought.

When one fridge door closes, another opens…but not for too long or your food will go off.

This positive mantra also applies to your life.

When one year ends, another starts. If you dwell over the past, you dwell over the past, and dwell over the past, and…go nowhere. When one goal is achieved, another is set. When you screw up one goal, set another, and keep setting them. You don’t have to meet them, but every achievement takes you closer to success. Yes, even when success seems far – too friggin’ far – away.

The end.

Cutting Fitness: Skinny Fat is the New Black!

Cutting Fitness: Skinny Fat is the New Black!

Time for a Cutting Fitness exclusive!

At a secret location, which will remain a secret, insiders in the fashion industry revealed the latest craze to sweep the world. You DON’T want to miss this…

After years promoting the ‘Does she have an eating disorder?’ look on the catwalk, the fashion world has done a u-turn. Sources say fashion icons want to unite supermodels and the Average Joe by combining the modelling world’s underweight preference with society’s obesity epidemic. The result?


“What is skinny fat?” you ask (or not if you’re a smarty-pants).

‘Skinny Fat’ describes someone who is skinny and fat. Duh! Skinny fat people have too much body fat, but you can’t tell from outside their bodies, especially when they’re fully clothed. They’re jiggly like stereotypical fat people, but small like slim people. Skinny outside, fat inside. If you’re skinny fat, fear not! Skinny Fat is the New Black!

Don’t be skinny! Don’t be fat! Be skinny fat!

Being small and flabby is GREAT this season. Saggy arms are better than Michelle Obama’s defined ones. Who wants slender thighs when their legs could wobble and smack together instead? A flat defined stomach is nice, but fat rolls when you bend over are MUCH better.

“How do you get the skinny fat look?” you ask.

If you stop interrupting and let me finish, I’ll tell you…

1. Lose muscle mass

High muscle mass and low body fat create those gorgeous, ripped, toned, slender bodies bodybuilders, athletes, and your favourite celebrities show off. To be skinny fat we need the opposite look! Skinny fat requires removing muscle mass from the equation so your body is mostly fat.

Muscle + Low fat = Tone, definition, and a darn sexy body! Meow!

Body – Muscle = Skinny fat (wobbly, fat, saggy, fat, flabby, fat)

The best way to keep the fat and lose the muscle is by not strength training. ‘If you don’t use it, you lose it’ – the same goes for your muscles. If you don’t work them, the body burns them off when you lose weight. Goodbye and good riddance! You don’t want them taking up unnecessary space and making your heavier. Get rid!

Next, go cardio crazy! 30 minutes of aerobics is cute, but 3 hours on the treadmill is dedication. If you’ve got an impossible deadline then you’re already exercising for hours a day to meet your target, but there’s always room for more, more, MORE! The cardio will burn lots of fat AND muscle. A brilliant 2 for 1 deal!

2. Focus on BMI

The BMI only considers two factors: height and weight. To be more accurate, measure body fat, hip to waist ratio, blah, blah, blah. Too complicated and far too boring! Skinny fat requires being a healthy weight for your height, so the BMI is all you need. It doesn’t matter whether you’re still obese in terms of body fat or at risk of heart failure with regards to your hip to waist ratio. Remember, it’s skinny fat, not skinny healthy!

A low weight = skinny.

A high body fat percentage = fat.

Skinny + fat = Fat skinny, also known as skinny fat


3. Cut out fat

Believe it or not, you must eat fat to lose fat. I know that sounds dumb, but it’s true. This is why you should cut out all fat – yes, ALL of it – when you’re close to your goal weight otherwise you’ll end up skinny slim or skinny skinny.

Low fat isn’t good enough because ‘low’ doesn’t equal ‘no’. Yes, some products with no fat go overboard on the sugar/carbohydrates, but that’s good because carbs fuel those marathon cardio sessions! See how everything works out?

Follow those three steps to be skinny fat in time for the summer/school reunion/bikini shoot/next month! No strength training means you’ll be weaker, hours of cardio will exhaust you, and cutting out your favourite meals because they’ve got fat will suck. Life doesn’t get any better than this. Trust me, I’ve tried.