When you’re feeling sorry for yourself, it’s hard not to focus on others. You’ve got so many problems and they don’t have any…as far as you can see. Their social network photos and updates are always happy-go-lucky. All smiles, parties, and holidays. They’ve got the perfect family photos, perfect friend snaps, and romantic pics with a good-looking partner.
So there you are, looking over their albums, and your face would turn green if it could. You would swap places with them if you could. The way your life’s going, you might never come back. Why not stay there in the land of sun and fun?
All this makes you feel even sorrier for yourself. You feel depressed about the rut you’re in. You feel sad that this moment is happening to you. You feel guilty for wishing it onto someone else. You feel scared that things will never get better. You might even feel that this life should just end so you’ll be “free”.
But you don’t want to feel that way anymore. That’s why you’re here. You’re fed up with feeling sorry for yourself.
So, how do you change?
Actually, you keep doing what you’re doing but turn everything on its head.
Keep comparing yourself to others, but find people who are worse off than you. There’s always someone out there who would love to swap places with you.
Here are some examples of how to put your life into perspective without real life examples.
You: My parents are divorcing.
KIIP: Orphans out there have no parents.
You: My boyfriend of two years dumped me.
KIIP: My husband of twenty years, father of my three kids, and the breadwinner, left me for someone else.
You: I didn’t get that raise.
KIIP: I’m the breadwinner, with a family of four, mortgage, and car payments…They just let me go.
You: I failed my exam.
KIIP: I can’t afford to attend school.
You: Pregnancy is tough.
KIIP: I’m infertile.
You: My ears keep ringing. I’ll never have silence again.
KIIP: I’ve got total silence. I’m deaf.
You: I’ve got eye floaters.
KIIP: I might have some but they don’t bother me. I’m blind.
You: I’ve got fat genes.
KIIP: I’ve got cancer genes.
You: I’m terminally ill.
KIIP: I’m dead.
Need real life stories?
First option, watch or read the news. It can be depressing, but KIIP means everything you see will help you in a positive way. See the horrors life throws at people and be grateful. It could’ve been you.
Second option, read history books. See what your ancestors overcame, for example, my slave ancestors survived rape, hangings, lynchings, whippings, drowning, and more. Suddenly my OCD doesn’t seem so bad.
Third option, look back at those “perfect” people you envy and see their perfect lives for what they really are: Imperfect.
That holiday? Maybe the first they’ve taken in years.
That hot partner? They argue, make up and break up like everyone else.
That happy status update? They don’t post the sad ones.
That family photo? They argue like all families.
That great job? After months searching without success.
See? When you’re down you’re irrational. You forget to be realistic. During the tough times, it seems like no one has problems but you.
But that’s not true.
Everyone has problems. Everyone includes those people you envy. They hide their problems better.
That’s their secret.
Image courtesy of Evgeni Dinev / FreeDigitalPhotos.net