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Cutting Fitness: High Intensity Shaming, I mean, Training!

Cutting Fitness: High Intensity Shaming, I mean, Training!

No, not HIIT. That’s tough cardio that makes you wanna die…or at least stop. No, we’re talking about her twin brother, HIT (High Intensity Training). They’re similar because they’re both quick and they’re both really tough. They also sculpt bodies into peak condition, but that doesn’t matter because they’re still hard work. If you want something easy, keep looking. Go for a gentle stroll to the TV. Maybe meditate for a minute or so when you feel like it. Or do nothing.

Yeah, that’ll work…

“I’m female. I’m not allowed to lift weights!” somebody exclaims.

I think that’s a myth

“What about calorie burn?” nobody asks.

HIT doesn’t care about them. It focuses on calorie intake to lose fat, not exercising until you pass out.

“So I can’t do ten hours of cardio twice a day so I can eat a couple of cupcakes? I can’t wear a heart rate monitor 24hrs a day to track how many calories stretching and smiling and washing and peeing burns? Terrible! At least tell me I’ll waste hours a day doing it? Then I can complain about not having time to exercise, which means I can binge eat instead…”

For the second, and last time, you don’t track calorie burn. You can’t do it accurately anyway. The emphasis is on watching what you eat. Then you won’t get stuck in the “eat it, burn it” cycle.

“But I like that cycle,” somebody cries. “Why reward yourself with clothes, shoes, music, make-up, DVDs, games, holidays, a gorgeous new body that attracts hot guys/gals, which leads to a happy marriage, kids, and the cutest puppy you’ve ever seen…when you could have a brownie? I love brownies…”

Trying HIT revealed how backward the system is. Since when can you do ONE set of weight lifting? ONE, of each exercise. And not a hundred exercises. It could be 5-10. Yeah, moving slowly made it tougher, but still…I was done in 30 mins. That includes changing the weights, warming up, cooling down, and stretching.

“30 mins? Ha! Too easy! You lazy–”

No, it was hard. Doing one set seems easy, but with heavy weights you increase over time, it’ll get harder…and shape your body even more. This is terrible for people who want a 3 hr long programme they must do at an expensive gym. This HIT crap can be done at home! What will I do with all the money saved up for gym membership fees? No more sharing sweaty machines, no more wannabe trainers stalking me or awkward shower moments where you can’t help but glance over because she/he looks so much better–I digress. Apologies…

“Fine! I’ll only do 30 mins a day, and find some way to fill the other time. Okay, okay. At least it’s 6-7 times a week.”

Actually, it can be 2-3 times a week. Some go so hard they do it once.


After such a tough workout with weights, your body needs time to rest and strengthen itself for the next session. Instead of doing Mon-Sun, they could do Mon, Wed, and Fri. Watching what they eat takes care of the fat. No fancy routines, regimes, regiments, bootcamps, expensive DVD sets, balls, kettlebells, mats, bulky machines, personal trainers, or anything else that makes your bank balance cry.

“So…it’s cheap, accessible, quick, infrequent, effective…This sounds too good to be true. Who’s pushing this crap?”

A guy called Drew Baye. He tries to hide his scheming ways behind affordable ebooks like this one, and a free blog, but he can’t be, you know, nice. Sure, he mentions how dangerous some fad workouts are. He acknowledged that he’d be rich if he didn’t have a conscience. But still, a quick, effective, affordable workout sounds too good to be true! Where’s the “Lose 100 pounds in 100 minutes!!!!” claim? He seems sincere, which is quite unsettling…I hate not being screwed over! I’ve got money. I just need someone to take it off me, darn it!

“Don’t cry. We’ll find a con artist and some dangerous, expensive, ineffective, only works in the infomercials, nonsense workout we’ll try for a week before giving up. Just give it time…”

Photo: Image courtesy of skeeze/

Cutting Fitness: Best of the Worst – Weekly Fitness Blog Round-Up

Cutting Fitness: Best of the Worst – Weekly Fitness Blog Round-Up

It’s time for the first another episode of Best of the Worst: Weekly Fitness Blog Round-Up. Each week I’ll share two of the best of the worst fitness blogs I’ve found. I’ll provide a brief quote to show how bad the blog post is. Go there and read the rest at your own peril. I won’t come to rescue you…

‘You Are Not Bound by a Number’ by Diane, FIT TO THE FINISH

“I’d encourage you to set goals that are appropriate for yourself, but don’t be bound by the magic number […] your “inner voice” knows what is a healthy weight for you.” – Fit To The Finish, Source.

Unfortunately for Diane, this is some terrible advice. The rest of the blog post was even worse.

It’s easy to ignore the scale, measurements, and percentages, but this is the WRONG thing to do. When you obsess over figures and dates, you get depressed if you don’t meet impossible expectations. You’ll reach a number you assumed would make you happy, but it doesn’t, so you’ll just binge your way back to your starting weight. You’ll feel even worse as the lost fat returns, but you shouldn’t because regaining after weight loss is an achievement. That’s why so many do it! Repeat the regain process like other dieters do: Fat and thin, up and down, back and forth, forever and ever.

Yes, others like Diane think there’s more to life than freaking out over numbers. You could focus on general fitness, happiness, health, and various other goals you achieved on your fitness journey. Maybe your endurance is better than ever. Maybe you didn’t overeat for five consecutive days. Maybe you walked across town instead of driving. There are always more non-weight related successes to celebrate, which means there are many chances to feel proud. It shows that so many good things can happen whether the scale rewards you or not…Is there more to life than your weight?

Nah! That’s a load of nonsense!

See what Diane’s done? Her positive, inspirational blog is corrupting my mind. Help!

Even More Weight Loss Tips and Tricks‘ by Jack, JACK SH*T, GETTIN’ FIT

“One way to get more exercise while sitting on the sofa and watching TV is to get up and go exercise.” – Jack Sh*t, Gettin’ Fit, Source.

Need I say more? This fitness humour should be against the law…

Jack shares more on the blog post, but it’ll make you laugh so don’t go there! Even worse, when you look past the humour you realise he’s actually giving great advice. Jack, you disappoint me! We can’t have people following such good advice and getting fit. This messes with the diet industry’s plan for world domination! Instead, learn the lessons he disguised behind wit, and do the opposite. This will help you fall way off the wagon and regain lots of fat ASAP!

That’s it for today. There’ll be more next week.

PS. If I don’t post next week it means I’ve either forgotten or been kidnapped by Diane and Jack as revenge for showing how terribly motivational their blogs are (Yuck!!!!!!). Oh well. I’ll be back….